Tuesday, March 27, 2018

#11

Babe,
I know now, that it's not because I wasn't enough for you.
I was too much for you.
I gave you more than you could carry.
But babe, don't get me wrong,
It's not because you were any less for me,
It's because I had too much to give.

You could promise me the moon and the stars,
And I would find a million ways to build a rocketship.
You would tell me that you'd call me before you sleep,
And I would wait until you woke up the next day.
Because it's easier to promise
But it's harder to bear

For years, it was me chasing relentlessly after you.
It was me shouting to a brick wall hoping you'd hear.
It was always me who wanted more of you.
But you thought I wanted more from you.
No, babe.
I couldn't get enough of you.
Ten hours wasn't enough.
Two days wasn't enough.
"Just five more minutes" wasn't enough.
Forever, at that point, would never be enough.

And for each minute that I missed you,
I prayed for love,
I prayed to understand,
I prayed for you,
I'd keep saying your name in my prayers,
Because it was once an answer to mine.

I never understood how you did it, babe.
How could one have the heart just to up and leave?
But I learned the hard way,
That it's possible to nurture a plant too much,
Just like how it's possible to overwhelm a person with love.
I offered you planets when you only wanted a star,
I gave you quarters when you only needed pennies,
I strived to bring you the sun when you only needed a flashlight,
I have given you all of what I'm made of, but what you needed was someone new.

It took me years to truly understand,
What you meant when you said we don't belong together.
It took me years to truly fathom,
That what you said was true.
It took me years to realize,
That it was you who has been patient with me.
It took me years to accept the fate that was written for us.

And so I thank you, babe,
I thank you for giving me insight,
Thank you for staying with me, although unwillingly,
Thank you nonetheless.

I wish only happiness and nothing but the best upon you,
I don't miss you like I used to,
But I'm in a better state of being,
And babe, I hope you are too. 

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